According to ‘The Perils of Over-sharing in Social Networks’ by David Emm (2014), there are increasing worries about the invasion of privacy while using social networks. Emm emphasis that the over-reliance on the internet in people’s daily lives expose them to online criminals. The information which people are sharing online may be collected by the "prying eyes" and pose potential threats against them offline. The article also mentions that people tend to overlook the danger while using mobile network devices. Since it is not a common aim of an attack, it creates a "false sense of security". Various ways to minimise the risk suggests by Emm include installing internet security software and using distinct passwords for different accounts.
From my point of view, what the article is trying to convey is not a totally foreign idea. Most of the people indeed understand the negative impact of reliant on social networks, but they all believe such tragedy will not fall on them. The author uses examples to illustrate how harmless online posts can lead to undesirable consequences. As people’s social media is being closely but quietly monitored by their employers and government, they have no idea when will their comments be interpreted in a totally different way and used for a totally different purpose. Therefore, I support Emm’s claim that over-reliant on the social networks will generate negative impact on people’s daily lives.
Emm mentions in his article that the information people choose to share online will affect their real lives. This is because people tend to believe the internet is an unrestrictive zone where they can freely express themselves. However, this is not true. The internet is regulated by various authorities. If they regard certain information as offensive, they might take actions against the uploader. In Yahoo news “ NUS student Sun Xun punished for ‘dog’ comment” by Sim (2012) proves that people have to bear the consequences for their insensitive comments posted on the internet. Even if the internet provides a convenient platform for people to exchange their thoughts, the users should still be careful about the information they shared online. Whatever goes online will not just be online.
Emm also mentions in his article that it is riskier to access internet through mobile devices. Due to the convenience of smartphones and tablets, people are storing increasingly more personal information into such devices. In addition to that, there are actions taken unintentionally by the users which further expose themselves. Such actions include location enabling, in-app purchasing, and phone number verification. The consequence will be more severe if people use mobile devices for internet banking. Once the device is lost or stolen, it is impossible to safely retrieve the data back.
In conclusion, I agree with Emm's argument that over-reliance on the internet is dangerous. There are many loopholes on the internet security that criminals can take advantage off. Internet user's personal behavior such as over-sharing their personal information and inappropriate comments will further enhance the negative impact of using the internet.
502 Words
Reference
David Emm(2014, 21 March), The Peril of Over-sharing in Social Networks [Web log post]
Retrieved from:
Sim. F (2012, March 27). NUS student Sun Xun punished for ‘dog’ comment. Yahoo News Singapore.
Retrieved from:
https://sg.news.yahoo.com/chinese-scholar-sun-xu-s-scholarship-terminated.html
LanXin
ReplyDeleteLack of use of transitions in the first paragraph.
Some of the mistakes are as follows:
-The sentence “From my point of view, what the article is trying to convey is not a totally foreign idea.” Redundant use of the word totally.
-“ Most of the people indeed understand the negative impact of reliant(being over reliant) on social networks, but they all believe such tragedy (tragedies) will not fall(happen to) on them.
-“ As people’s social media is being closely but quietly monitored by their employers and government, they have no idea when will their comments be (misinterpreted and misused; expression error?) interpreted in a totally different way and used for a totally different purpose.
-The phrase “Whatever goes online will not just be online.”- (Whatever goes online will have lasting consequences.)
Visible grammar mistakes throughout the essay.
In general, good summary, and a logical flow of ideas. Good ideas but can be further clarified in some areas.
Luke & Chee Hou
Thank you, Lanxin, for this finely-detailed, well organized reader response. The essay has many strengths. For one, the summary seems quite accurate and comprehensive. You also transition well from that to your main thesis, although this statement needs some refining. What most impresses me is the level of development of your body paragraphs. Though your main claims to be more implicit than explicit, you keep your focus and you methodically present your support for your position. While you need to reconsider the nature of your thesis, your essay delivers in terms of making the connection between Emm's ideas and your own and drawing the reader's interest.
ReplyDeleteThere are a few other areas that you need to consider as well:
--- Emm emphasis >>> word form?
--- the over-reliance on the internet in people’s daily lives expose ... >>> subject-verb disagreement
--- The information which people are sharing online may be collected by the "prying eyes" and ***pose*** potential threats... >>> Do you see why this verb is an issue?
--- Various ways to minimise the risk ***suggests*** by Emm,,, >>> verb form?
--- From my point of view, what the article is trying to convey is not a totally foreign idea. >>> specific controlling idea? (effective thesis?)
--- of reliant >>> ?
--- over-reliant on the social networks will generate negative impact >>> ?
--- lack of correct APA suage in the reference list
I look forward to the next draft.