Nowadays, social media deeply penetrates young people's daily life. From sustaining friendships to expanding social circles, teenagers are heavily dependent on social media to construct their relationships with other people. In “Alone Together” by Sherry Turkle (2012), she mentions while social media was used as a tool to connect people, it is now causing wider separation. This isolation is extremely harmful to teenagers as they are in a crucial age of developing self-awareness through interacting with other people. The only effective solution is for Infocomm Development Authority of Singapore (iDA) to pose regulations that draw clearer distinctions between individual's online social life from real life.
It is true that social media provides a fast channel for people to reach out to one another and easily get connect to people across space. While people start to rely on social media to develop their relationships, they also let the technology led them to undesirable places, slowly without notice. People begin to build their relationships merely for the sake of connections. Social media only provide a mental relief but leave people physically and emotionally alone. Online information can be created, edited and deleted in a way that people can choose how they are perceived. People begins to hide their true self from one another and as such even though they are able to conduct communications in any place and at any time, they cannot truly understand each other. The purpose of communication has lost due to the pursuit of more connection. Thus, social media generates a wider separation among people.
In order to gain public usage, social network providers are making their services as close as possible to people's real life. Social media application link users’ online identification to their phone numbers, locating services that can expose the users locations and also provides the information on other people around the same area, real life friends become online follower and online followers become real life friends. Teenagers growing up in such environment do not observe the difference between online social and offline social. As social media appears to be more efficient and powerful, they tend to put all their attentions on social media and at the same time sacrifice their offline social life. It is not shocking to see teenagers putting their heads into their phones whenever they are left alone even for just a few seconds. Nowadays, it is also common to observe groups of young people gather together but each one of them still put their heads into their phones. As the definitions of virtual and real are not clearly defined and differentiated, there is high chance that teenagers will isolate themselves from other people and even the society.
Social isolation caused by social media largely affects teenager's communication skill. The methods of communication used in social are largely in the form of texts or pictures. As the efficiency is the priority in online social media communications, the language used is generally short, plain and straight to the point. When conveying a message, some details are skipped in order to obtain a fast response and feedback. Wrong interpretations and false information are easily arise due to such fast food type of communication. Effective communication is not only about words. Other factors such as body language, eye contact, the tone of voice are crucial in conducting an effective communication. None of these can be seen in social media communications which opposite parties interact with each other through a flat screen and digitized information.
According to ‘Technology: Creator or Savior of Social Isolation’ by Christopher Jones, technology provides a platform to bring people together, to tighten social bonds. But the author does not realize that it is the same technology that is causing all the trouble. As people demand more on technology and less on each other, there will be absolutely no way that technology can reverse the situation no matter how advance it will be. Instead, it will only exacerbate the problem.
In order to solve the problem, it is necessary to target at its root cause. iDA should restrict social media providers from allowing their teenage users to access their full services. Some ways include limiting the time which teenagers are allowed to access their social network accounts and setting quota on the number of followers and friends teenagers able to add into their accounts. The main purpose of this is to break the connection between online social life and real life. When teenagers start to realize they cannot apply what they obtain from online to real life, they will begin to move their focus away from the virtual world.
Such measures cannot go without education. Societies, schools, and families have to reinforce the importance of real world interactions and communications, through activities such as outing and family gathering, to reconstruct the lost bonds.
Individuals must not forgo their own skills and abilities in exchange for greater dependence on social media. Teenagers been a most vulnerable group will easily be carried away and become isolated and at the same time losing their communication skills. It is necessary for powerful solutions such as government intervention to reverse the situation. As such, teenagers are able to enjoy the benefits of social media while minimize the harm associated with it.
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Reference
Turkle, S. (2012). Alone Together. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Jones, C. Technology: Creator or Savior of Social Isolation [Supplemental material]. De Vry University Retrieved from http://www.academia.edu/6879244/Technology_Creator_or_Savior_of_Social_Isolation
1. What do you like the best about the ideas in this essay? Be specific. (precise vocabulary, cohesive/linked ideas, clear/easy to follow discussion, convincing, effective reasoning/argument, well-developed ideas, well-supported topic sentences, understandable transitions, etc.)
ReplyDeleteUnderstandable transition, convincing reaoning
2. Is there a clear, narrowly-focused problem presented in the essay? Is it contextualized in the intro? Is it expressed well in the thesis?
The main problem has been narrowed down. Yes. The reader could understand the main problem discussed and the suggestion given by the writer.
3. How well is the first solution described? How effectively is that solution evaluated?
Existing solutions and its evaluation could not be found.
4. How well is the second solution described? Is it effectively connected to a positive outcome?
The solution can be much clearer. And this is because I think you are missing few important words. Can be much clearer. Like what kind of services of the social networking site and apps to be restricted by the iDA.
“Individuals must not forgo their own skills and abilities in exchange for greater dependence on social media.” – what kind of skills?
5. Are there any ideas in the essay that need further development? Which parts of the essay require further elaboration?
All ideas/reasonings are clearly stated.
6. Does the writer effectively use outside source material to illustrate the problem and/or the solutions?
Yes. But I think the reference to Christopher Jones article is not necessary. Only views on his article given. And the idea extracted from the author is not new. And your view on it and your argument is not convincing, and this is because of the use of a strong word – “absolutely no…”
7. What is your impression of the flow of the content?
Overall – good. But I think the second paragraph can be swapped with the third one.
8. Are there any ideas in the essay that are not clear or that you find confusing? Underscore/ highlight these.
“quota on the number of followers and friends teenagers able to add into their accounts.” – you have to support this. It is not convincing as it is against one’s freesdom on internet.
“Teenagers growing up in such environment do not observe the difference between online social and offline social” – not understandable.
9. Are the citations used in this essay appropriate? Are the reporting verbs effectively used? Does the reference list adhere to the APA guidelines?
You just have to use the last name.
10. Can you give a couple specific suggestions for how the writer could most improve this essay?
Please include exiting solutions to the stated problem. That will make your essay complete .
You can work on your suggested solutions. Better ways than to reduce the no. of friends whom can be added on social net. sites.
I think more causes and consequences of Isolation can be added briefly.
Conclusion cannot be found.
Conclusion can be improved by posing a related question to the reader